Back in my day...

I know why the Timberwolves suck.

They are still stuck in 1983. Unfortunately, McHale is no longer flanked by Bird, Parrish and Maxwell.

A rash of stories revealing a new way of using new stats to your advantage in the NBA has flooded the blogosphere. But, apparently, none of these stories (not to mention the premise behind the stories) have reached Minneapolis yet.

And, it's not difficult to find the reason.

After all, he's 6'10, looks like this guy and walks like my 93-year-old Great Aunt. Kevin McHale is a self-professed "old-school" guy who still wears Bill Cosby sweaters and still watches reruns of his cameo on Cheers on this thing.

Do you really think he's up-to-date on this new way of thinking about the game?
Of course not.

He brings up how "simple" the game is in every interview. Heck, he was so sure of his antiquated methods of player assessment that he didn't even contact Rashad McCants' college coach prior to drafting him. Oops. Maybe he should have. Roy Williams didn't think McCants was ready. He wasn't...

Anyway... I can imagine the scene in the Wolves front office (on one of the few occasions McHale is present...and not off hunting with the owner's blessing.)

New Intern: Should I study game film to analyze the exact locations on the court that our players shoot significantly better percentages?

McHale: Nah. Tried and true analysis is a fad. Around here, we stick to my quickly deteriorating memory and nostalgia of a bygone era to get things done.

Now, go get me a Diet Rite cola and a Whatchamacallit. I need a snack before Night Court comes on.

Mike Miller is flirting with me.

Maybe, it's the playful tussle of his hair. Maybe, it's the late night calls on my cell phone. Maybe, it's the pansy ass basketball he's been playing...

Whatever it is, he is pining for a piece of my heart (the part McCants hasn't stolen). And, for a piece of my blog.

Well, since I'm a sucker for the wily charms of bad Las Vegas prop comedian look-a-likes, I succumbed to Mr. Miller's advances. So, here goes...

The guy sucks. And, I think he's trying to steal my soul.

Let's examine Pansy Ass's resume: Career 14.0 scorer who never averaged less than 11.1 points per game. He is being paid about $20 million over the next two seasons. And, the #1 reason he was brought to the Wolves in the Love/Mayo trade was to give Jefferson an outside SHOOTER to play off from the post.

So... what have we seen?

Mike Miller has taken FEWER shots than Sebastian Telfair in 34 of the team's past 38 games.
I don't blame Telfair.

Last week against the Lakers, the Wolves played without its top two scorers, Foye and Jefferson. So, what did their veteran wing do... 0 - 4 for 0 points.

In fact, he passed up TWO 13-footers on the same possession to pass the ball to Jason Collins. Collins threw up a 16-foot airball. I don't blame Collins.

My detractors would claim that Miller is shooting 49%. I'd point out that Telfair is shooting 36% and Miller keeps forcing him the ball.

It's like Miller wants to get in Telfair's pants almost as much as he wants in on my blog.