Drinking in the NBA...

There are two types of people in this world:

1. Those who I would drink a beer with at a bar.
2. Those who don't make the cut.

Sadly, the NBA has far more players who fit into the latter category. Fortunately, there are a few who are alright. In fact, I have enjoyed a beer or three with a few players, including:

Tim Duncan. Friendly jovial big lug who ends up being pleasantly down to earth by beer two. The only problem is that he always throws up his arms in disgust and scowls at the barkeep with an incredulous look whenever I tell him it's his turn to buy a round.



Kevin Garnett. Free beers all night. He passes up drinks for himself to get them for me and his crew. Unfortunately, when it's time to pay up, he's too far from the bar, or disappears entirely. Plus, if you think he's emotionally unstable with the yelling and crying on the court... you should see him after a couple of drinks. Sweet Fancy Moses, it's like he's auditioning for the next Real World or pledging a sorority for chrissakes.

Shaq. Fun and lively. Plus, he's a big oaf, so there's always a ton of food. But, he only goes to places that feature his songs on the jukebox and/or are willing to play KAZAAM repeatedly on the flatscreen over the bar. Plus, he STILL thinks he's a real cop, so he walks around with a police baton and threatens to arrest people if they look at him funny... or order "Kobe" beef off the menu.




Chris Kaman. Seriously, how many chances does one get to have a beer with the "Unfrozen Caveman NBA Player". To be honest, the guy is alright. It ended up a lot better than the time I met the NBA's only space alien for a beer after a game. Note to everyone: don't bring Sam Cassell along as a wingman. Chicks don't really dig it.




Kobe Bryant. First of all, Bryant said he was too good for beer. So, he drank white wine. Then, he tried to speak in Italian for most of the evening. I finally left when he kept asking me if I thought he looked like Michael Jordan when he drank his wine. Creepy. Plus, his team of agents and publicists were there with cue cards for Bryant to use whenever he didn't know what to say or do.




Marko Jaric. I invited him to see if his girlfriend would show. She didn't. So, I ditched him.


Rashad McCants. Just kidding. But, stay tuned for my next post: "NBA Players I'd like to hit over the head with a broken beer bottle".