The Two Best Players. EVER.

Jimmy Chitwood (Hoosiers) vs. Billy Hoyle (White Men Can't Jump).

Everyone should know about Jimmy Chitwood by now. He was an incredible shooter who led lil' Hickory High to the state championship. But, how much of his greatness is a myth?

And, then you have Billy Hoyle. The fast-talking, poorly-dressed playground legend in gray socks who stole and lost money from ballers up and down the coast. Was he a legit talent, or Wesley Snipes' second fiddle?

Let's find out:

Jimmy Chitwood. 6'2" Guard. Hickory High.

With the benefit of film editing, Jimmy Chitwood shot about 80% from the field in 1951. In fact, one ESPN columnist estimated that he shot 78% and scored 30 of his team's 42 points in the championship game. We even see an unedited clip of Jimmy shooting free throws earlier in the movie. He makes nine before missing one... and that miss is important. (Jimmy only missed four shots the entire movie) It revealed his weakness. It came as soon as the coach challenged him... and it revealed Jimmy to be a headcase.

Jimmy was what I like to call a malcontent. the kind of guy who only played when HE WANTED to. And, for the coach he wanted. He was also a ballhog... although he only averaged 18 ppg. (Clever editing, style of play, or system player?) Plus, only a malcontent would DEMAND the ball and create a team mutiny when the coach calls another player's number for the last shot.

The final play also shows Jimmy's lack of basketball IQ. He holds the ball until four seconds are on the clock. He then launches a contested 26+ footer and doesn't give his team a chance for a rebound. Stupid play. He's LUCKY that the shot went in.

Sure... Jimmy hits the shot. But, he did everything HIS WAY. He joined the team when HE wanted to. He played when HE wanted to. And, he shot whenever HE wanted to. Let's just say he didn't lead the All-Hicksville Valley Conference in assists in 1951. And, nobody enjoyed playing with Jimmy Chitwood. Plus, don't even get me started about defense. Jimmy was Steve Nash without the muscle, intensity and commitment. Just horrible.


Billy Hoyle. 6'0" Guard. Playgrounds.

Billy Hoyle was shorter. Had horrible form on his jump shot. And, was easily duped. In fact, his dimness is perhaps his greatest flaw. Billy Hoyle trusted EVERYBODY. He believed that people were inherently good. Chitwood trusted nobody, except himself.

It's why one was a great PG who sometimes lost because of inferior teammates tanking, while the other was a top-notch scorer who demanded the last shot.

Hoyle "might be able to pull a couple of passes out his arse"... but, he was more than that. The guy could shoot. In fact, except for a few misguided dunk attempts... he doesn't miss a shot the entire movie. (More creative editing?)

Hoyle was versatile. He could play shutdown one-on-one D against much larger players . And, he could set teammates up for any shot (including 720-layups by short, fat guys) at any time. Hoyle knew how to play the game the right way, and was deadly on the pick-and-roll. That would seemingly give Hoyle the edge over Chitwood. But, hold on to your short shorts.

Hoyle was a headcase, too. Not the malcontent type like Chitwood. He was a pu$.$y whipped chump who dressed poorly. He also ONLY played for money. He was a mercenary, and not a very good one.

He didn't know his own athletic limitations. He was willing to sacrifice everything to prove a meaningless point. And, it cost him time and time again. Plus, let's not forget that he was easily duped, too. Sometimes, you can be too trusting. As a result, he became a chump.

I've been battling in my mind over these two great players for the better part of two decades. I can't figure out which guy is the better player. I need help...


Help ABE:
So, you have one game. Your life depends on it. Who do you take... Jimmy Chitwood or Billy Hoyle?

Back in my day...

I know why the Timberwolves suck.

They are still stuck in 1983. Unfortunately, McHale is no longer flanked by Bird, Parrish and Maxwell.

A rash of stories revealing a new way of using new stats to your advantage in the NBA has flooded the blogosphere. But, apparently, none of these stories (not to mention the premise behind the stories) have reached Minneapolis yet.

And, it's not difficult to find the reason.

After all, he's 6'10, looks like this guy and walks like my 93-year-old Great Aunt. Kevin McHale is a self-professed "old-school" guy who still wears Bill Cosby sweaters and still watches reruns of his cameo on Cheers on this thing.

Do you really think he's up-to-date on this new way of thinking about the game?
Of course not.

He brings up how "simple" the game is in every interview. Heck, he was so sure of his antiquated methods of player assessment that he didn't even contact Rashad McCants' college coach prior to drafting him. Oops. Maybe he should have. Roy Williams didn't think McCants was ready. He wasn't...

Anyway... I can imagine the scene in the Wolves front office (on one of the few occasions McHale is present...and not off hunting with the owner's blessing.)

New Intern: Should I study game film to analyze the exact locations on the court that our players shoot significantly better percentages?

McHale: Nah. Tried and true analysis is a fad. Around here, we stick to my quickly deteriorating memory and nostalgia of a bygone era to get things done.

Now, go get me a Diet Rite cola and a Whatchamacallit. I need a snack before Night Court comes on.

Mike Miller is flirting with me.

Maybe, it's the playful tussle of his hair. Maybe, it's the late night calls on my cell phone. Maybe, it's the pansy ass basketball he's been playing...

Whatever it is, he is pining for a piece of my heart (the part McCants hasn't stolen). And, for a piece of my blog.

Well, since I'm a sucker for the wily charms of bad Las Vegas prop comedian look-a-likes, I succumbed to Mr. Miller's advances. So, here goes...

The guy sucks. And, I think he's trying to steal my soul.

Let's examine Pansy Ass's resume: Career 14.0 scorer who never averaged less than 11.1 points per game. He is being paid about $20 million over the next two seasons. And, the #1 reason he was brought to the Wolves in the Love/Mayo trade was to give Jefferson an outside SHOOTER to play off from the post.

So... what have we seen?

Mike Miller has taken FEWER shots than Sebastian Telfair in 34 of the team's past 38 games.
I don't blame Telfair.

Last week against the Lakers, the Wolves played without its top two scorers, Foye and Jefferson. So, what did their veteran wing do... 0 - 4 for 0 points.

In fact, he passed up TWO 13-footers on the same possession to pass the ball to Jason Collins. Collins threw up a 16-foot airball. I don't blame Collins.

My detractors would claim that Miller is shooting 49%. I'd point out that Telfair is shooting 36% and Miller keeps forcing him the ball.

It's like Miller wants to get in Telfair's pants almost as much as he wants in on my blog.