Proof that Abe is the World's Biggest NBA Rube...

I sat through the entire Oklahoma City vs. Minnesota game. The Wolves won 105 - 103 on a Mike Miller buzzer beater. I'm gonna share some insights with you. YES, this means you. I don't care if it's more painful to discuss these two fledgling franchises than getting kicked in the groin. You're gonna listen, and you're gonna learn some stuff.
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1. Soon-to-be journeyman postplayer, Craig Smith, was the best player on the court. Journeyman postplayer, Chris Wilcox, was second. Jeff Green was third and Al Jefferson 4th. Sebastian Telfair and Russel Westbrook were tied for 5th. And, Kevin Durant was 7th... by default... just ahead of Joe Smith. Actually, Miller moves up there ahead of Durant, too. Despite an overall sloppy game.

So, as the 8th best player on the court in a contest involving two shoddy teams, Durant was unimpressive. He does NOTHING for me. My worst fears for this kid seem to be coming true. Heck, with what I saw from him tonight... he'd be fortunate to become the next Glenn Robinson. (And, that would be a terrible waste of talent.) Too much standing around waiting for a jump shot. The worst was after Wilcox scored FOUR straight baskets without Durant shooting. Suddenly Durant hoists an off-balance three pointer... just because he hadn't gotten his touches. OH OH toothless yokels. Fortunately, Oklahomans are too new and naive NBA ball to realize what these antics mean. If Durant isn't taught how to play the game soon, he'll never improve. Bad habits breed more bad habits.

2. Russell Westbrook is really fast. No. Very fast. No, seriously, I had to check my fast forward on the DVR twice. He is in another world athletically. But, he has a lot to learn, and his handle is terrible.

3. Kevin Love shot 4 - 7. So, he improved his shooting to 16 - 59 (27%) over the past couple of weeks. Yeah, I know he'll improve. But, if anyone brings up OJ Mayo, I'll punch you in the ear. (Oh wait, somebody would have to actually read this blog for that to happen.)

4. The Timberwolves broadcast team said something about Randy Foye making pointed comments toward Love about not forcing shots near the end of the game. I found this odd. Randy Foye giving advice on how to play basketball is like Plaxico Burress offering gun safety classes.

5. Rashad McCants didn't play for the second time in three games. The Wolves won for the second time in three games. Anyone want to venture which game he DID play in?

6. I wondered aloud how Miller was so open at that spot at that time for the game winner. All I saw was a blur of a Thunder player zoom by. My initial reaction, "Stupid defensive play. Must have been Damien Wilkins." I found out that it was indeed Wilkins. Somewhere PJ Carliesimo is laughing at Scott Brooks. "Sucker!"

The Timberwolves tried to snatch Wilkins away from Seattle a few years ago with a qualifying offer. Whew! Thank you Seattle for falling on that grenade.

7. Both teams are poor. Perhaps, very poor. But, both shot better than normal. Oklahoma is the worst shooting team in the league. They shot 50%. Is this because they were on... or was the Wolves D really that bad? Maybe one should ask Chris Wilcox. I'm sure he dug Al Jefferson's post "defense".

8. Mike Miller is beginning to look like Carrot Top.

9. I am beginning to think I wasted three hours of my life watching that dreadful game.

That Better be Butter in Your Pocket.

So, yesterday I have a job interview (sort of).

Halfway through, the lady hands me some papers to look over and sign. So, being prepared, I reach into my pants pocket for the pen that I brought.

Oh oh.

I forgot that I had worn those pants to a luncheon social on Saturday. Banquet/buffet style. And, I had grabbed one of those butter packets packaged in tinfoil.

Oh oh, is right.

By the time of the interview, (two days later), it was obviously melted. And, a huge mess. I realized this as I took out the pen and noticed a bunch of yellow slime on it. I tossed the top half of the pen that was covered with the butter to the ground. (I don't know if the chick saw it).

So, I spent the rest of the interview writing with a pen of butter, while trying to wipe the residue off my socks. And, trying to retrieve the top half of the pen that was completely covered in butter with my foot.

Kevin Garnett Loses Voice; Placed on Injured List

Milwaukee, WI.

Kevin Garnett, 11-time all-star and vocal leader of the World Champion Boston Celtics, was placed on the injured list late Friday evening with what team officials classified as a mild case of laryngitis. The injury appeared to occur shortly after Garnett fouled out in an OT win versus the Milwaukee Bucks.

"Kevin was yelling and screaming incoherently, just like usual, when all of a sudden I heard a whistle and then deafening silence", said teammate Leon Powe, who is expected to replace Garnett in the starting lineup. "It was eerie. Without cues from Kevin on what our emotional state of mind should be, we didn't know what to do after Pierce hit those last free throws to ice the game."

After a brief moment of confusion, the team walked off the court in silence, apparently more worried about the loss of their emotional leader than the hardfought win against a second-rate team. With a game against the second-place New York Knicks on the horizon, coach Doc Rivers tried to remain positive.

"It'll be a tough game to coach", said Rivers. "How will I know if we're doing well if I can't hear Kevin screaming profanity-laced tirades at everyone within ten feet of him? I just hope that he's OK. Without the ability to scream, people will start to notice his precipitous drop in production sooner than later."

Rashad McCants Doesn't Like Me.

Otherwise, he wouldn't be so willing to destroy the beauty of the sport I love so much.